Blech

Well, my hubby left for another round of training tonight. This one is a leadership course. Why they have to start it in the middle of the night is beyond me. Of course he left everything until the last minute, which means I had a ton to do, while he took a nap. It took me 2 hours to wake him up, so he ended up with only an hour to do everything before he left.

It was not a fun night and I'm really hurt. I know he loves me, but sometimes I feel like I'm just a gopher to him. "Honey, I need this done," or "honey, can you pick this up". We spent ZERO time together tonight and I barely got a kiss goodbye. I know that if I had just sucked up my hurt, I'd have gotten a hug, but I just couldn't do it. I called him right after he left, hoping that he'd turn around and just hug me, but nope, he was mad, I said "nevermind" and he hung up.

Blech.

He just called because he can't find something. I'm proud of myself for holding my tongue and telling him that if he'd not left things until the last possible second, he'd have everything. He's probably going to be in a bit of trouble for this, but what he's missing isn't here, so I can't help - which, of course, I would. I don't mind doing things for him. I feel like it is part of my job as his wife to help him get ready for things, even something minor like making his lunch. He's super appreciative of the mundane things. But, it's these different things ... field time, forgotten things, etc. I know that it's because he's stressed, but it's very frustrating to me to feel like this.

I needed to vent and there really isn't an outlet for me here, but this has helped. We'll sit down to talk when he comes home, but now I can put this behind me and let it go. I have an amazing family and I know that he loves me and doesn't mean to treat me like this. So, we'll talk about it. He's good about compromising and making changes when we talk and he hears how I feel.

Thanks blogger for being my outlet.